A weird group of friends

024C1904-E936-49E4-AEA7-DA928107967C.JPGHello, people who are reading this, and welcome (back) to my blog.

It’s not always that easy to see the positive side of things and be happy. I actually think that sometimes it can be harder to be positive than negative. That’s why I appreciate the friends that I surround myself with. They always give me a different point of view and makes me reconsider my initial thoughts and reasoning. The funny thing about that is that I’m usually the optimistic and a bit clueless one in our small group. We are a group of four very different people that somehow work together. Don’t ask me how, but we do.

My friend Josefin and I are kind of the glue of the group. If it hadn’t been for our friendship and shared love of Harry Potter I don’t think we would be as close as we are today. We are the ones with imagination and our heads in the clouds, the ones with big dreams and plans for the future. My other two friends, Cassandra and Elin, are the more realistic part of our group. Cassandra is like a mother hen, always worried about us and always making sure that we’re alright. Elin is the crazy smart one in our group, she’s like an enigma of information and secrets, she’s awesome. They both keep me and Josefin grounded and gives us a more realistic point of view on things, we can be a bit controlled by our emotions… A great thing about our group is that we all have some kind of problem (Not that that is such an awesome thing…) and we can therefore all relate to each other and are therefore a great comfort whenever someone’s feeling down (We are like a cocktail of different diagnoses.). So if you ever got a problem, believe me, one of us has probably already been through something similar and can help. Even though we all have our differences they make me happy and gives me a reason to look forward to things. They are pretty great and all have their unique qualities that make my life a bit easier each and every day. So, appreciate the friends you choose to surround yourself with. Because friends will come and go, so don’t take the ones you really like for granted.

Until next time, xoxo Ella.

Dreams

B1BD39EE-4E89-436D-A299-D8B4ACC0A27C.JPGHello, people who are reading this, and welcome (back) to my blog.

I’ve always loved to read. Ever since I learned how to reading has been a big part of my day to day life. It got so bad during one period of my life that I’d take books with me to the bathroom, do my business and then just sit in there and read. My friend’s parents would ask them where I was and they’d just answer with “She’s reading on the toilet again.”It was bad and I lost a lot of my closest friends during that anti-social period. The ones that stayed are still really close to me today and they’ve learned to love me despite my reading habits (And I don’t hide in the bathroom to read anymore, I’ve learned from my mistakes.). But, my dream back then was to be able to read for a living (It’s still up there in my top 5 dream jobs.). It wasn’t until a few years later (This makes me sound like I’m ancient…) that I discovered a love for creating my own stories.

The thing about creating a story instead of reading it is that you can change anything that you don’t like about it. I’ve always created different worlds both in my head and on paper. Some might say it’s because I’d rather live in on of my many books than in the real world and they are completely right. Who wouldn’t want to live in a world full of magic? (I read a lot of fantasy….). If I ever got the opportunity to leave this world for another one I’d take it without any hesitation. I’d leave everything behind (Sorry, not sorry.) and never look back. But that’ll probably never happen so I’ll just have to make do with the next best thing, using my imagination and creating stories for other people to enjoy and escape within. That would be a dream come true, to actually be a published writer.

Until next time, xoxo Ella.

What a weekend

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetProcessed with VSCO with f2 presetProcessed with VSCO with f2 presetIMG_9175Hello, people who are reading this, and welcome (back) to my blog.

My dad’s 50th birthday was this weekend and we’ve been celebrating it all weekend. My grandfather (My dad’s dad), grandmother (My mothers mum.), step-grandmother, 2/3 aunts as well as 1/3 of the aunt’s fiancée have all been here visiting. On Friday we had a fancy seafood dinner at our place and on Saturday we visited the theatre to watch my dad’s favorite band, “The Beatles” (well impersonators of them…), and that evening was very entertaining.

It all began when we were supposed to get to the theatre. My grandfather’s got dementia (It’s not that bad yet, he just have some short-term memory issues.) so it’s kind of hard to take him somewhere since someone’s always got to keep an eye on him. It’s worth mentioning that my granddad and step-grandmum, Maria, doesn’t live in Gothenbur, so they’re not used to the city. Well, we were supposed to take the bus to the central city before getting on the tram to the theatre. Maria and granddad went before the rest of us to the bus stop because he can’t walk that fast. But when the rest of us got there they were nowhere to be seen. It turned out that they’d gone to the wrong stop and was on the number 11 tram (We have a lot of them in Gothenburg, they all have different numbers…). We told them to get off at one stop and then take the same bus as the rest of us from there, but they didn’t listen and because they weren’t at the stop when the bus got there we all got off the bus to go look for them. This resulted in us missing the right bus as well as tram and getting to our dinner late (We found them eventually, wandering around the neighborhood looking for the right stop.).

When we finally got to the restaurant, our food, which had been preordered since we’re a company of 10, had been served to other people. So we had to wait for at least one hour before we got our food. But even before we sat down at our table to eat we managed to get into an elevator that was reserved for VIP-people (to clarify, we were NOT VIP.). So there we were, 10 people crammed into a small elevator that’s see through, and dad pushes the wrong button. This results in us going up in a see through elevator raft, in a glass elevator, pushed up against the window in front of a lot of fancy people in a really fancy restaurant that was located above ours. To say that we were embarrassed when the doors opened at the balcony seating in the restaurant is a huge understatement. It felt like forever before the elevatordoors closed and it took us through the fancy restaurant once agin before we sank through the floor to the right restaurant.

So that was our Saturday and Sunday wasn’t as eventful (Thank the Gods for that.). We had brunch at this really fancy place called “Ritz” with our family and some of our closest family friends. It was really nice and the food was really good, but I still prefer “Kafferosten” since it’s more budget friendly. After the brunch, my granddad and everyone else went home to Norrköping and my family and I went home to our empty house and slept for two hours. To finish off a pretty great weekend, some of our close family friends came over in the evening to wish my dad a happy birthday.

Until next time, xoxo Ella.

Working it out

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So, like many girls on this planet, I’m not happy with the way I look. The reason for this is because I used to train three to four days a week and now I don’t anymore. I played handball for eight years before I quit three years ago. The reason that I quit was mostly because of my team mates. I love, the sport but it was a struggle every time I was supposed to go to practice. I dreaded it because I had no friends, no one to team up with and it hurt. Then they decided on splitting us up in different teams depending on our skill and since I only played for fun and didn’t plan on making it into a career I was placed in the inferior team. It was the drop that caused the cup to flow over and I quit. Ever since I made that life altering decision I’ve had a steady weight gain. It’s no surprise that I gained some weight since my diet isn’t the healthiest and I didn’t train three days a week plus games anymore.

In the beginning I started to go to the gym for three to four days a week since it was what I was used to but then I started to go less and less. I have a problem, (and I don’t think that I”m alone in this) and that is that I have a really hard time getting to the gym. When I’m there I go all out and work out until I’m exhausted but getting there is a big challenge. But I’ve worked out a way to hopefully fix this problem. My friend and I’ve been talking about going to the gym together, and I think that it’s a great idea because you usually come up with less excuses why you shouldn’t go when you know that there’s a friend there waiting for you. So I hope that this little arrangement will make me go to the gym at least two times a week. I really need it. Not just because of my body issues but also because of my mental state. I hope that it’ll help.

Until next time, xoxo Ella.

Screaming at the television

IMG_8778.JPGHello, people who are reading this, and welcome (back) to my blog.

You know that feeling that you can get when you watch a movie. That annoying, nagging feeling you get whenever the characters do something stupid. Like in horror movies when the character split up or go into the room with the weird noise. Or the fact that they always ask if there’s someone there even though they live alone or they know that it’s not their family. Do they expect the supposed murderer to answer, or what? I’m the kind of person who is yelling at the tv, as if the character can hear me, trying to make them stop. I despise scary movies, but I’d watch one where the victims aren’t so predictable and don’t go into the obvious traps. That would be a great movie.

And don’t get me started on romance movies. I get so angry at the main characters who makes these stupid mistakes (Not that I have that much experience…). My mum and I  are watching this Swedish series called “Vår tid är nu” or “Out time is now” and I’m screaming at the television whenever the class differences get in the way of true love. The problem is that the characters makes these obvious mistakes that just doesn’t seem to happen in real life. I know some of the problems might be realistic but it’s all just overdramatised. But then again, my longest relationship lasted for only one week in fourth grade. And it only happened becauseI was friend with the guy and didn’t want to hurt his feelings (I am married however, I even have the ring to prove it. Though that happened in kindergarten…). My knowledge comes from watching my friends relationships (And hearing all about them from my friends whenever they’ve encountered a problem.) as well as watching these rom-coms. So that makes me qualified to judge all those couples on the big screen. Or maybe not. But that doesn’t stop me from screaming at the telly. Please tell me that I’m not the only one…

Until next time, xoxo Ella.

New hair and old friends

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Yesterday I got my hair cut. It’s been forever since I went to the hairdresser and my roots were in desperate need of a touch-up. I’ve had blond hair since I was little but it’s been getting darker every year so I get highlights to keep the light colour. the thing is that my hair is also really affected by the sun do in the summer I don’t have to go to the salon since the sun does the work for me. That’s why it’s been so long since I’ve seen my hairdresser. I’ve been going to my hairdresser, Natalie, for almost 5 years. It’s crazy how fast the time flies by, but she’s the best. I’ve tried a couple of others during this 5 year period but I always get disappointed since none of them is as good as Natalie. I trust her and she always tries new things with my hair. This time I got cold, light blonde highlights but she also put in some light grey tones that’ll be there for about 3 weeks. I actually like it, which I didn’t expect to do.

Today I caught up with an old friend that I haven’t talked with in years. We grabbed lunch together and got to talking like old times. I’ve actually missed her, she’s one of the few friends I liked back in the dark ages, so I was really happy when she contacted me and asked if I was busy this weekend. We hung out for about one hour and a half hours and it was great catching up with her. I think we both would have preferred to hang out for a bit longer but Both of us have a lot of homework that needs to be done so we cut the meeting a bit short. Speaking of homework, I have to do mine now. I have a math test tomorrow morning, and I despise math so we’ll se how it goes.

Until next time, xoxo Ella.

Selma

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetProcessed with VSCO with f2 presetHello, people who are reading this, and welcome (back) to my blog.

So, as some of you may or may not know I’ve got a dog, I post pictures of her all the time on my Instagram as well as on the blog. Her name is Selma and she’s a seven month old adorable poodle puppy. She’s actually kind of big now and not a puppy anymore, but I refuse to acknowledge it and alway cuddle with her in my lap anyways.

The thing is that she’s been sick for awhile and I’ve been really worried because of that. One of her brothers died because of a genetic disease and Selma had the same symptoms so my whole family’s been on edge for the last couple of weeks.Selma has been limping since the end of July and we took her to a veterinarian then too but they didn’t x-ray her and told us that it was just an infection which resulted in Selma taking medication for a few weeks. We didn’t know about her brothers death until the end of August and that’s when we got really worried and booked another meeting  with the veterinarian. She had a SCINT scan (I have no idea what that means…) and the veterinarian told us that she had two loose bone pieces in her right and left foreleg and needed an operation.

She was operated on Monday and have since been recovering just fine. We won’t know for four weeks if she’d really fine but there’s a good chance that she’ll have no further symptoms. She’d with my aunt for the moment since it’s too much noice and activity at our house and we’d have to leave her alone when my brother and I are at school and my parent are at work. So, I really miss her, but she’ll be home on Monday so I’m looking forward to that.

Until next time, xoxo Ella.

The road to success

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetProcessed with VSCO with f2 presetHello, people who are reading this, and welcome (back) to my blog,

Today I heard some wise words that I’m now going to share with you, my readers. “Every small success is a step in the right direction.” I really liked this because it’s kind of like what everyone usually say’s, that every small step takes you in the right direction towards your goal. My goals are to have a healthy body and a healthy mind. These two usually affect each other, especially when you suffer from panic attacks. Whenever I’ve gotten through a panic attack I’m exhausted which showcases how my mental health affects my body. And whenever I work out I always feel better afterwards.

I’ve got an unhealthy relation to sugar which affect me in my day to day life. Sugar has always been a weakness and one of my biggest enemies. I always feel awful afterwards I’ve eaten anything that I shouldn’t and I even puke whenever I eat too much, but sadly it doesn’t stop me from continuing to consume it. I’ve been trying to stop for a while now and I’m glad to say that I’m on my way to a healthier life. It’ll take a while but I can proudly say that I didn’t consume anything unnecessary today even though I was feeling like shit. That’s usually how it starts, with me feeling down and thinking that sugar will improve my mood. But today, I didn’t do it and I’m proud of myself. It may be a small success, but it’s mine and it’s taking me towards my final goal, one small success at a time.

So, instead of setting huge goals for yourself and trying to achieve them set small ones so you’re able to feel good about yourself for getting somewhere. The problem with having one big goal and no small ones on the way is that it usually feels impossible after a while. You don’t see your successes but only your failures and the fact that you haven’t reached your goal.  By celebrating and being happy for every small success you avoid that feeling completely while still working towards your final goal. The road towards success is usually really hard and crooked with a lot of failure on the way. Don’t let one setback get you to give up. Fight for what you want and know that if it’s really worth it it’ll cost you blood, sweat and tears. Good luck.

Until next time, xoxo Ella.

Fake it ’til you make it

IMG_8335.JPGHello, people who are reading this, and welcome back to my blog.

What am I really doing with my life? That’s a question I ask myself at least once a day because I don’t do much. I wake up, hit the snooze-button over and over again until I’m so late that I don’t have time to eat breakfast. How anyone can spend time fixing their hair and makeup every morning is a miracle to me, I barely have time to brush my hair before I’m running out the door, a sandwich in my hand and my jacket flapping in the wind behind me. My breakfast I usually eat on my first lesson of the day (If the teacher allows it.). It may not be the greatest habit considering many other things that are affecting my day to day life but I somehow make it work on most days.

When I get home I usually fall onto the couch, exhausted. I take a quick nap before I do anything else. Once again not a great habit but I have no energy left after a whole day in school so if I’m going to be able to do anything else that day I have to rest for a bit. After my nap I go online or do my homework and then I eat dinner with my family before I go  to bed to wake up doing the almost exact thing the next day.

I look at successful people my age and I’m in awe of many and how they’ve already managed to accomplish so much when I’ve done next to nothing with my life. What if I’d painted, or sung or done anything with the spare-time that I spend online. I might have actually accomplished something. That is one of the reasons why I’ve decided to start this blog, because I’ve thought about it for a really long time and I finally decided that I’d do something productive with my spare-time instead of spending it watching movies. I still watch a lot of movies and series. But I also spend my time writing, creating something of my own. It might not be much and it might not be great, but it’s all mine and I like the thrill of it. So I might not be a successful writer (yet, fingers crossed) but at least I’m doing something that might take me there someday.

Until next time, xoxo Ella.

Family fun

IMG_8489.JPGHello, people who are reading this, and welcome (back) to my blog.

Sometimes, spending time with family and friends, is the best thing. When you are surrounded with a group of people who loves and appreciates you for who you are. They’ve known you for your whole life and stuck by you through thick and thin. It’s an amazing feeling of comfort and safety. I spent my evening at one of our closest family-friends’s hose and we just talked and played games the whole evening. It was such an relaxed evening and we talked about everything and anything and everyone where involved, even their 11 year-old son. The father of the family and my mum have known each other for their whole lives and are best friend so we’ve always been close with their family.

Their oldest daughter is 16 years old, two years younger than me, and when we were small we didn’t really get along. I though that she was really annoying and boring, (Sorry, if you are reading this… You know I’ve grown to love you!) almost like a little sister who’d follow me around everywhere. It was a few hard years for her… But as we’ve grown older we have really found each other and she’s a great friend. We really got to talking last year for real and now I’m beginning to really value her as a friend and I would hate to lose her.

I don’t know if this is just me, but I always act different with the people who’ve known me for my whole life and with my friends. With my friends (Not my closest friends though, you know who you are! <3) or anywhere else I’m always tense and ready to show my best face forward and it’s exhausting. But I can be the real me, relaxed and comfortable, around the ones who’ve been with me through everything.  What I’m trying to say with this is that you should really appreciate the people around you who knows the real you. Take every opportunity to relax and just enjoy being yourself, because there is no one like you and you are awesome.

Until next time, xoxo Ella.