Stressed out

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetHello, people who are reading this, and welcome (back) to my blog.

I’m a person who’s really affected by stress and right now it’s really bothering me. Because of how stressed I’ve been the last couple of day I haven’t been able to sleep enough to get trough he day. I’m not particularly fond of coffee or drink it at a daily basis, usually, but now I’ve been chugging it like it’s the last thing I’ll ever drink. Coffee is now my one and only saviour and my day’s now start with at least one cup. My ideal cup is 50% milk and 50% coffee which some people (My dad) isn’t really coffee… Anyway, it’s keeping me going so I’d say that it serves it’s purpose.

The reason these last few day have been so stressful is because of school and everything that is happening all at once right now. A huge project is due tomorrow and my partner and I aren’t sone yet. She’d really stressed out and that makes me even more stressed so the mood isn’t that great. It isn’t just this project, but I have another essay that’s due Tuesday as well as a test on Monday and another one on Thursday. My teacher told me that the one on Thursday aren’t going to be that big, but knowing him it’s going to be hard.

How am I dealing with all of this, you may ask yourself? I’m taking everything one thing at a time and just breathing trough it. It doesn’t help to get stressed, it just takes up unnecessary energy that you could be using for something more productive. I know this and I’m working on the not stressed thing, but I’m going to my country house this weekend so I’ll be disconnected and therefore able to focus on what I need to do. At least I hope that…

Until next time, xoxo Ella.

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Processed with VSCO with f2 presetProcessed with VSCO with f2 presetHello, people who are reading this, and welcome (back) to my blog.

In our last year of high school, every student who studies economy and a few other do a project called UF. UF stands for “Ungt Företagande” which kind of means young entrepreneurs and it’s a class built around a huge project where we start a business and run it for a year. It’s something that I’ve been looking forward to as well as dreading since I learned about it in my 10th year. My partner that I’m going to do this project with is kind of the opposite to me. She’s calm and collected where I’m all over the place, but we get along great and I’m excited for this year.

Anyways, we went to the startup yesterday where we got to listen to a lot of Swedish entrepreneurs who’ve started their multi-million SEK businesses from nothing and it was really inspiring to hear their stories. They also had a lot of advice for us and most of it was really interesting and centered around attitude which I thought was helpful since it’s something I struggle with. For example, the founder of NA-KD was there and spoke as well as one of Swedens to bloggers and two other entrepreneurs. They all told us their stories about how they started and what they believed was the most important qualities that resulted in their success. The founder of NA-KD told us how he started by selling underwear from his apartment before his first startup, Nelly.com, really took off. It’s really inspiring to see that everyone started from somewhere and that they worked their ass off to get where they are today. He’s got no higher education but managed to get where he is today without it. I hope that I can get to where he is today someday in the future, it would be a dream come true. Drem big and work your ass off and you can do anything.

Until next time, xoxo Ella.

 

Summer and Spring shoes

Hello, people who are reading this, and welcome (back) to my blog.

Today I amused myself by exchanging all of my summer and spring shoes for my autumn and winter shoes. It took some time and while I was working I came up with the idea to share my shoe collection here. So, here it goes.

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  • Brand: Skechers
  • Bought: May 2017, Gothenburg
  • Price: 1000 SEK
  • Usage: I really like these shoes because they’re really comfortable and I use them as work shoes, to school or whenever I’m going to be spending a lot of time walking around.
  • Style: Blue jeans

IMG_8149

  • Brand: Skechers
  • Bought: May 2017, Gothenburg
  • Price: 1000 SEK
  • Usage: Like the blue ones, I use these on a daily basis. They are really comfortable and since they are black they go with almost everything. These are my go-to shióes at the moment.
  • Style: Mainly black jeans, but goes with anything except the color blue, comfortable.

IMG_8152

  • Brand: Duffy
  • Bought: July 2016, Gothenburg
  • Price: around 300 SEK
  • Usage: Really easy slip-on shoes that used pretty much every day this summer and last.
  • Style: Usually dresses, but also jeans and skirts.

IMG_8153

  • Brand: Adidas, Stan Smith
  • Bought: 2014, Stockholm
  • Price: 1100 SEK
  • Usage: I lived in these shoes in 2014 (As you probably can see, by the wear and tear…), really comfortable and good quality.
  • Style: Anything and everything, I really love these shoes.

IMG_8154

  • Brand: Adidas, Stan Smith
  • Bought: February 2017, London.
  • Price: 700 SEK (I got them on sale!)
  • Usage: My older ones are looking pretty worn out so I replaced them with these newer ones. My go to before I got my black Skechers.
  • Style: Once again, anything and everything (They actually work really nicely if you want to dress down something a little bit fancier to a more casual look.)

IMG_8107

  • Brand: Rieker
  • Bought: June 2017, Gothenburg
  • Price: 500 SEK
  • Usage: Really comfortable sandals that you can actually walk in for a while without hurting your feet.
  • Style: Dresses or skirts.

IMG_8120

  • Brand: Nico Boco
  • Bought: June 2016, Barcelona
  • Price: 300 SEK
  • Usage: Not that comfortable, but really cute. I’ve used them around 5 times whenever I wanted to make a boring outfit a bit more fun.
  • Style: Single colored dresses.

IMG_8137

  • Brand: Duffy
  • Bought: 2014, Gothenburg
  • Price: 500 SEK
  • Usage: Not that comfortable. I bought them for a wedding since they perfectly matched my dress, I’ve worn them maybe twice after that.
  • Style: Blue or white outfits.

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  • Brand: Din sko
  • Bought: 2014, Gothenburg
  • Price: 200 SEK
  • Usage: I’ve used these awful shoes once because they matched my prom dress in ninth grade. I had them on for all of the pictures and then exchanges them afterward for more comfortable shoes.
  • Style: Prom.

IMG_8133

  • Brand: Rieker
  • Bought: 2016, Gothenburg
  • Price: 900 SEK
  • Usage: Best high-heeled shoes ever. They are so comfortable and I love them even though they’re not the nicest looking shoes…
  • Style: Anytime I want to look fancy but be comfortable.

IMG_8124

  • Brand: No idea
  • Bought: 2014, Gothenburg
  • Price: 1000 SEK
  • Usage: These are my go-to high-heeled shoes whenever I want to feel extra fancy. They are really comfortable and go with everything I own, one of the best pair of shoes I’ve ever owned.
  • Style: Whenever I want to add something extra to my outfit.

 

Until next time, xoxo Ella.

Panic attacks

Hello, people who are reading this, and welcome (back) to my blog.

I’ve been living with panic attacks for about a year now. It’s something that I’ve had to learn to live with and it’s awful. Whenever I’m too stressed, sad or angry I lose the ability to breathe. It feels like my chest is being compressed and I can’t get enough air into my lungs. It doesn’t matter what I do I just can’t seem to get enough oxygen to think straight or about anything else than the horrible feeling of an elephant sitting on my chest. The only thing that helps is to just stay calm and breath through it, but how do you stay calm when you feel like you’re dying?

Yesterday I suffered from the worst panic attack I’ve ever had. It was so bad that I had to get off the bus I was on and sit down on the cold, hard ground. I almost passed out because of it and it didn’t help that people were gathering around me trying to help. It made it worse. The last thing you want to do when you’re having a panic attack is to assure the people around you that it’s okay, that you are fine. Because you are not fine, but them worrying just makes it worse. Getting a panic attack in public is probably the worst place that it can happen on because of the noise and the people surrounding you. It’s hard to focus on your breathing when several people are there pushing you, talking or just existing. I just need a quiet dark place where I can focus on myself and work through my problem.

The thing is that my panic attacks aren’t always connected with strong emotions or pressure. Sometimes they come out of nowhere and it feels like a kick in the chest because I’m unprepared, I’m not ready to handle it. And the exhaustion that always follows it is not great either. It takes so much energy to work through the attack that I’m completely drained afterward. I had to call my dad so that he’d pick me up at the bus stop and get me home. I had no energy left to handle the day so I just got home and crashed. The drainage of energy is something I’ve experienced before but not like yesterday. I didn’t even have enough energy to eat, all I was able to do was lay in my bed.

If there is someone reading this who also suffers from panic attacks I want you to know that you are not alone. You’ll get through each attack even though it feels like you are dying at the moment. Just take care of yourself.

Until next time, xoxo Ella.

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Processed with VSCO with f2 presetProcessed with VSCO with f2 presetHello, people who are reading this, and welcome (back) to my blog.

Today was one of my closest friend 18th birthday (Happy birthday Cassie!). My other friend, Josefin, and I as well as Cassie decided on breakfast at a café that’s called “Kafferosten” (Which is roasted coffee in Swedish.). They have a really good breakfast buffé and we’ve eaten there a few times before. Josefin and I bought a few gifts to Cassie with a special theme in mind, a cozy night at home. We got her a really fluffy blanket, a bag of chips as well as a scented candle and a hair mask. I think that it was a success, at least she seemed to like them…

After our delicious breakfast, we went to the school where I was faced, once again, by my worst enemy… Math. I actually really enjoyed math when I was younger and the only thing you had to worry about was multiplications and divisions. Nowadays it’s so freaking complicated that I don’t even understand what I’m doing even when I’m doing it correctly. I just guess and hope that I’ll get the right answer, so whenever I do get the right answer I have no idea how I did it. That’s why my math teacher is the best teacher in the whole wide world. She’s really patient and understanding and she once spent three hours with me just to get me to understand what we were actually doing. It’s thanks to her that I managed to get a C in math. She’s just awesome.

Until next time, xoxo Ella.

170926

Hello, people who are reading this, and welcome (back) to my blog.

So I haven’t been that great on updating these last few days due to some technical difficulties. Yesterday, our internet failed so I had no way of doing my homework or anything else. That’s the problem of living in a world with technology, we learn to depend on it. So, whenever anything fails it all goes downhill. I do everything on my computer and the internet related to school or social life. I’m crippled without it and it’s pretty scary.

On a more positive note, Tuesdays with Josefin are back on track. We’ve been missing a few because of other obligations but she’s here tonight. For those of you who don’t know what Tuesdays with Josefin are, it’s when my friend Josefin and I get together at my place to cook, study and just hang out. We are planning to travel to Los Angeles next summer and stay there for a month. Since we don’t have enough money to eat out every meal for a month we have to learn to cook for ourselves. But neither I nor Josefin are any good at making food so we are using our Tuesday to learn how to cook together. So that’s what we’ve been doing today. Todays “challenge” was tacos and it actually went pretty well (We even made our own homemade guacamole from scratch.).

Until next time, xoxo Ella.

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Processed with VSCO with f2 presetProcessed with VSCO with f2 presetHello, people who are reading this, and welcome (back) to my blog.

I began my day by waking up a 06.30 to go to “Gekås Ullared” at 07.00 with my mom (It opens at 08.00 and we wanted to get there before everyone else does. Keep in mind that we both got to bed around 02.00 in the morning since we had a small get together yesterday evening. So you can say that we were pretty tired this morning…). “Gekås Ullared” is like a gigantic, cheaper version of Primark located in the middle of nowhere. It took us one and a half hours to get there and then we spent over five hours there before we drove home.

My plan was to buy around eight things that I needed and then stop there since I’m saving money for my trip to the USA next summer. Let’s just say that my plan failed miserably. I bought way more stuff than I’d planned for, but it was all things that I need (Kind of…). My mom said to me, before we went, that she’d just be my chauffeur and that she wouldn’t buy anything. Her plan failed more miserably than mine. We ended up buying stuff for over 5000kr (About 500 USD.). My things cost 1200kr and I’m actually pretty pleased with my self since my more realistic budget was 1500kr and not a penny more. But my mom was pretty shocked when she realized how much everything cost. The thing is that if we look at what each thing cost we probably saved money since we’d had to have bought them from elsewhere for even more money but it’s shocking to see how much all those little things add up to. All in all, I had a great day with my mom, I bought all the things on my shopping list and crashed when I got home.

Until next time, xoxo Ella.

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Processed with VSCO with f2 presetHello, people who are reading this, and welcome (back) to my blog.

Work, work, work, work… Soo tired. I was sick (again) yesterday and threw up a few times. It wasn’t stomach flu, which we thought in the beginning, but I’d got food poisoning once again. Thank you subway. The last thing I wanted to do today was work, but since I’m not sick per say I had to. Those were the longest four hours of my life and I felt like I was dying. Lucky me we had a lot of screaming children today. I usually love children, they are the best, but today I felt like throwing a tantrum and just knock out every single one of them. When I got home I fell into bed, completely exhausted. I slept for two hours and then my mom, dad and I went over to our neighbors for dinner and small talk. My brother’s got nine friends over at our house and it was between 10 loud teenagers or a few grownups and the sweetest boy ever (He’s 11, I love him and he charms everyone he meets and is just the greatest kid.) as well as a girl that’s two years younger than me. She’s awesome as well (And I’m not just writing this because she reads my blog… But you’re great and I love you!).

I slept for two hours and then my mom, dad and I went over to our neighbors for dinner and small talk. My brother’s got nine friends over at our house and it was between 10 loud teenagers or a few grownups and the sweetest boy ever (He’s 11, I love him and he charms everyone he meets and is just the greatest kid.) as well as his older sister (Who’s also great.) and a girl that’s two years younger than me. She’s awesome as well (And I’m not just writing this because she reads my blog… But you’re the best and I love you!). It’s actually been a really nice evening and I’m glad that I went with my parents even though I might have whined a bit. Now I’m gonna go back to the “party” and stop being antisocial.

Until next time, xoxo Ella.

Fangirl

IMG_7941.JPGHello, people who are reading this, and welcome (back) to my blog.

This is my list of books that I’ve just read and what I think about them.

First one up is “Fangirl”. I really enjoyed reading this book and it was one of those books I wasn’t able to put down. The main character, Cat, is really relatable and she faces issues someone with anxiety faces every day. The book was, however, a bit slow sometimes but if you just got through those parts it was an amazing book well worth a read. The authours writing and storytelling was so good that I’ve already begun reading the next book in the series called “Carry on”. It’s not really a series, but the second book is based on a fanfiction the main character writes in the story and it was a really pleasantly surprised when I found out that it had actually been turned into a book and published by the author, Rainbow Rowell. I’m really looking forward to reading the story of Simon Snow and Bas.

“Fangirl” gets ❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎ / ❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎  from me and I recommend it if you’re into fantasy but also likes a realistic story. It’s well written and the characters are really relatable.

Until next time, xoxo Ella.

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IMG_7937Hello, people who are reading this, and welcome (back) to my blog.

Math, something that comes easy to a few selected people and makes the rest of us want to rip our hair out. I’ve never been any good at math, but I have always managed to get a decent grade (I don’t know how but thank the gods.). Why do we even need math? I guess it’s useful to know how to add, subtract, multiply and divide but everything else. When am I going to use Pythagoras theorem in my day to day life? Most of what we learn in math class isn’t something that we’re going to be using in our daily life and to be honest we’re probably going to forget everything in a couple of years anyway (If we don’t choose a job where we use math, like an architect or scientist…). But you still need to have studied math to get into college, which you need to get a decent job.

So my day was, as usual, uneventful. That’s the curse of going to school five days of the week combined with homework, you don’t have time to do anything fun. But I try to make time for something fun every day, even if it’s just reading some chapters from a book that I like or watching a few youtube videos. Fun fact; one of my favourite YouTubers are iisuperwomanii or, as she’s called, Lilly Singh. I watch her daily vlogs as well as her videos to get a positive kick. I get really inspired by her since she’s so focused and successful and one of my favourite quotes is “Hustle Harder”. I try to live by it every day, even though I’m a bit lazy on some days (Who am I kidding? I’m lazy on most days…).

Until next time, xoxo Ella.